Why Isn't Therapy Working? A Guide to Getting Unstuck

You’re showing up to therapy, ready to unpack your thoughts, maybe even cry a little. But the breakthroughs you hoped for aren’t happening. The insights feel flat, and you’re wondering if you’re just talking in circles. If therapy feels like a chore with no reward, you’re not alone. Therapy is a journey with its share of bumps. Let’s explore five reasons why it might not be working, and how to get unstuck.

1. The Therapist Fit Isn’t Right

Therapy thrives on connection. If you don’t feel safe or understood, progress can stall. Maybe your therapist’s style feels too clinical, or their approach doesn’t match how you process emotions. It’s like dating, you need a spark, not just someone who’s “nice.”

What to do: Reflect on what’s missing. Do you want a therapist who’s warmer or more challenging? Share your feelings with them or explore other therapists. It’s not quitting; it’s advocating for yourself.

2. You’re Not Quite Ready

Sometimes, the timing isn’t right. You might be in therapy because you feel you should be, but deep down, you’re hesitant to face tough truths. Therapy needs openness, and if fear or exhaustion is holding you back, it can feel like you’re stuck.

What to do: Be kind to yourself. Talk to your therapist about where you’re at. Focusing on small, manageable goals, like building trust, can pave the way for deeper work.

3. Expectations Are Misaligned

If you expected therapy to deliver quick fixes or a total life overhaul, the slow, messy reality can disappoint. Progress often looks subtle, like noticing you’re less reactive to stress, not a Hollywood-style transformation.

What to do: Share your expectations with your therapist. Ask them to help redefine “progress” so you can appreciate the small wins that add up over time.

4. The Therapy Approach Isn’t Clicking

Not every therapy style suits everyone. If your therapist’s method, like CBT, feels too structured when you crave something exploratory, like psychodynamic therapy, you might feel disconnected.

What to do: Ask your therapist about their approach and whether they can adapt. If not, consider seeking someone who specialises in a method that resonates with you.

5. Life’s Chaos Is in the Way

Therapy doesn’t happen in a bubble. If you’re juggling work, relationships, or stress, it’s hard to focus on introspection. You might be in the session, but mentally, you’re elsewhere.

What to do: Bring the chaos into therapy. Your therapist can help you process overwhelm and find small ways to stay grounded, even in tough times.

Moving Forward

If therapy isn’t working, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It might mean you need a new therapist, a different approach, or a pause to reassess. Your curiosity about what’s off is a sign you’re invested in your growth. Have an open conversation with your therapist about what’s not clicking—it could be the start of real progress.

Ready to explore what’s holding you back? Contact me on the form below, I’m here to help you find your path.